Flip-Flopping

This is a typical ADHD trait in adults - not all adults (or kids for that matter) with ADD or ADHD have the same "symptoms", but this is definitely one of my big ones.  I remember flip-flopping about getting a divorce for at least 10 years.  I would change my mind on a daily basis, some days several times.

Now (and for the last few years) I do the same thing about how/where to live.  I would love to live in an RV, but it requires me to sell my house.  I am ok with that most of the time, especially because the yard is way too big and I don't think I have enough of a retirement income to maintain the house properly.  But I love my house and I love my stuff.  For some reason I fear letting go of my stuff. 

I have a feeling it has a lot to do with knowing that I cannot go back to a job that pays well enough to replace it all.  For one thing, I could never buy another house by the ocean. 

I would also like to live back home in Germany, at least part of the year.  It would have to be just part of the year so that I will be able to keep my resident visa.  I miss my sisters and envy them for being able to see each other whenever they want.  Of course I can go to Germany whenever I have a couple hundred dollars thanks to my brilliant son with his airline job.  I don't really flip-flop on my desire to live in Germany, there it's more the difficulties involved - like the 100 lb. dog who I can't leave with Hans any longer every time I feel like being gone for a few weeks or months.  Not nice for the son or the dog.

Maybe writing my thoughts down every day (or nearly every day) will help me come up with the perfect solution I can/want to live with.

From thinking to doing

I keep coming back to the same thing:  I don't want to be stuck in one place.  I don't want to spend my life cleaning and doing yard work.  I don't want the responsibilities that come with owning a house and lots of stuff.

I've been dreaming of "full-timing" in an RV for years now.  It's time to act on my dreams!

The goal:  Sell the house and buy a small travel trailer (my choice is the Casita Liberty Deluxe 17') that I can pull with my Explorer.

Timeline:  Have house ready for sale on June 1, 2011 (or earlier).  Order trailer as soon as I have the down payment saved up (after paying off my visa card).  Pick up trailer as soon as it is finished and pay with proceeds from house.

ADHD has me unfocused most of the time, but I have finally gotten help with that and am taking a daily pill (whenever I remember to do it) which helps me focus.  The only thing in my way are my uncooperative egos.  I'm ready to fight them all!