Self Discipline

From Tanksgiving (11/27/08) until the last day of the year (more or less), I was on 21 days juice fast followed by 8 days water fast, followed by another (almost) 6 days juice fast. My self discipline problems started even before the end of the fast. I made kimchi on the 29th or there abouts and just had to sample the juice on the 30th and 31st, and even ate some of the kimchi on the 31st. I felt so good throughout the fast, and a couple of days before the end I could see the mountains clearly. When I went back to eating, I ate too much right away, ate very spicy kimchi (lots of it), and ended up going to bed with a full and hurting stomach two nights in a row now. I feel bloated and unhealthy. I made eggless egg salad twice already, ate the first batch on the 1st and yesterday, and now have another full bowl waiting in the fridge. I bought a load of vegetables and fruits, along with lots of nuts etc., spent a fortune (much more than my budget really allows), and now have all this food sitting and waiting to be eaten before it has a chance to spoil. I had weighed myself on the last day of the water fast (138 lbs), and then on the 1st of January, the first day off the fast (142.5 lbs). Today on the 3rd of January, I weighed in at 149 pounds. I am so disgusted with myself and my total lack of self discipline.
It doesn't just concern the eating. I am lacking discipline in most areas (probably all areas) of my life. My house is full of pet hair and dust. It does not get vacuumed more than once every month. The kitchen and bathroom floors are dirty and need to be washed. About the only thing I do on a fairly regular basis is wash laundry. I don't know why I am this way. I always look for the easy way out. It's easier to sit and knit than to clean a house. Even right now, it's easier to sit and write about it than to actually do something. I have to change! I bought the FLylady Journal over a year ago (I know I was still at Dr.Swanson's), but never really even read it. I have to get a grip on my life, otherwise I will slide back into feeling depressed about eveerything. NOT ALLOWED!
I like to make lists (then normally misplace them). Sometimes I find a list I had made several months or even a couple of years earlier and find, that most everything I had listed I actually accomplished, even without ever looking at the list again. So I guess the list making itswelf helps get stuff aligned in my brain. So some of the things on my list for this year, in no particular order: Paint bedrooms and bathrooms. Bring shelves and books back from storage. Plant all daylilies. Plant all plants currently sitting around in pots. Have all raised beds filled with vegetables this summer. Make at least two new beds for more veggies, and one coldframe for salads next winter. Paint outside of house. Make cleaning house a weekly routine. Find something to do that pays real money. Make friends. Live within my means. Pay off Visa credit card in full. Exercise daily (walk Max). Clean up flower beds and cover with fabric. Replant trees. Be content. Keep up blog.
Let's see how many of the items can be crossed out by the end of this year.